Hey guys... Just an fyi, my blog makes a lot more sense if you start reading it from the beginning.

Monday, September 29, 2008

How to keep your best friend firmly on the hook

  1. Call her and tell her you missed her over the weekend and ask her to come to your mom's birthday party that night
  2. When she lies and says she's busy, because she's trying to do that whole distance thing again, beg her to meet you for lunch instead
  3. When she meets you for lunch, because she is not made of steel, suggest getting Quiznos and going to Sugarhouse Park
  4. At the park, sit by the stream and throw leaves at her and tell her that she looks really pretty and that you were wrong about the whole haircut thing. Say all of this while giving her one of your patented sweet/sincere smiles - the ones that are so freaking confusing they make her feel shaky.
  5. Pretend to be interested and supportive while she rants about her boss
  6. When she needs to leave to get back to the office, make her promise to come to the party. Use the sad face if she says no. The sad face always gets her.
  7. When she still says no, and says that now she really, really needs to go, put an arm around her and ask her what's wrong. Tell her you can tell something's bothering her, because she's been distant for the past couple of weeks.
  8. When she stumbles over her words and doesn't give you a firm answer, don't say anything at all. Just give her the sensitive clueless best-friend eyes, the ones that will make her totally powerless to resist you, even though you're not technically doing a thing to encourage her. Make sure to maintain eye contact long enough that she starts turning assorted shades of red and mumbling about "really really really having to get back to the office."
  9. While you walk back to your cars, start rambling on about your girlfriend, and tell her that if you end up marrying your girlfriend, it would be awesome if she would be the best man. Because how funny would that be.

On second thought, that last one? You probably should skip that one. Because even if you think that's a hilarious idea, it'll probably make her cry all the way back to the office.

FRACK.

Ya know, sometimes I think he's just screwing with me.

(I'm going to Tuacahn with Chris, Lisa and Jordan (her fiancee) on Saturday to see Les Mis. He called and invited me tonight. I wish I even cared.)