Hey guys... Just an fyi, my blog makes a lot more sense if you start reading it from the beginning.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Who needs logic anyway...

Chris showed up last night, checking to see if I was still mad and if we were on for tonight. I wasn't, and we were. He won points by telling me that he doesn't think I'm dumb, would never think that, because he thinks I'm "incredibly clever." Except with his accent it sounded like "clevah."

I told him about my cousin's wedding reception next week and asked him if he wanted to come with me. He said he couldn't because he had other plans. WITH A GIRL.

I must've looked surprised, because he said, "You kept insisting we should see other people, keep it casual."

Gosh, I'm such a hypocrite. I wanted things to be all casual and non-serious and light, but I was really, REALLY annoyed that he had a date. "Oh. That's cool then. No problem."

"Funny, you don't look all that thrilled."

"Oh, I am. I'm thrilled for you. Have a great time. In fact, if you want to go out with her tomorrow too, be my guest."

It was ridiculous. It was like I could hear the words coming out of my mouth, but I had no idea where they were coming from.

"Well whaddaya know." He was watching me with this knowing amusement that was really annoying. "Somebody's jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"You are. Little Miss Let's-Take-It-Slow, No-Exclusivity, Don't-Fence-Me-In-Jones is jealous." He was totally loving it, you should have seen him grinning at me. I kind of wanted to smack him.

"I'm not."

Except I was, a little. Maybe I was doing that horrible thing where I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him either. (Except I might want him a little bit. I don't know.)

He put a hand under my chin and made me look at him. "You know, if you want me to call it off, I can do that."

So then we had this whole conversation about how I wasn't ready to be exclusive, even though, yeah, I was a little jealous. It was funny, he said, "So you want a casual, non-exclusive non-relationship, but one where I don't actually date anyone else."

Dang him, trying to be all logical about it.

I sort of rolled my eyes and told him, NO, - but then I said that I didn't want to start anything serious right then - because I didn't want to end up hurting him a few weeks down the road.

He gave me that JJ* grin, head tilted to the side. "You won't. You're totally gonna fall in love with me, trust me."

OK, so it was pretty cute. There might have been kissing after that, I can't remember. It's hazy.

I'm so confused though.

Maybe I should borrow a clue from Chris and try to be logical, for once. So here are the facts:

1) I love Seth
2) Seth doesn't love me
3) I like Chris enough to be jealous
4) Chris really likes me a lot, or at least he says he does

So the logical thing to do here is:

a) stop obsessing over Seth
b) keep dating Chris
c) move on with my life
d) a, b, and c
e) Continue hopelessly wishing Seth loved me, stay frozen in place in my life, and end up a crazy spinster lady with 17 cats

Obviously E, right?


* HELLO, Joshua Jackson, we've already been over this, remember? : )