Hey guys... Just an fyi, my blog makes a lot more sense if you start reading it from the beginning.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Last night

I can't even talk about what is going through my head right now. It's too jumbled. I'm a basket case basically. This is the chat we had last night.

C: hey
S: what, your busy schedule clear up?
C: I'm really sorry
C: I was upset
S: It's ok, I'm not mad
C: I was worried
C: you aren't answering your phone
S: yeah, sorry, its dead
C: can I come over?
S: actually I'm packing
S: going to San Diego till Saturday night
S: biz/pleasure
S: but I want to talk to you
S: a lot
C: me too
S: I get in late Saturday
S: how bout we hang after church Sunday
S: catch a ride there, I'll take you home later
C: ok
S: I've gotta go, still finishing a presentation for tomorrow
C: ok, be safe
S: I will, see you Sunday
C: see you


I don't know why I put that in caps, it just seems important.

I talked to my sister for a little while last night but I was bouncing off the walls and she got irritated with me. This morning she sent this to me.
Cord, you sounded like you were on crack last night. You have got to get a grip. Please print this out and put it on your fridge or something.
  1. First of all, calm down. He didn't ask you to be the mother of his children, he just broke up with his girlfriend. Perspective please.
  2. R-E-L-A-X. From what I saw, he obviously has feelings for you. Great. So the next step is not marriage and children it's DATING. Hopefully he will ask you out, you will go out, and you will see if you guys click like that. Expecting anything else is premature. Period.
  3. Seth is great, you know I love him, but he is not Prince William. He's Seth. Frankly, he would be damn lucky to have you. (Note: I deleted about a paragraph of my sister saying nice things about me. She's my sister, of course she thinks that.) You're a catch Cordy, so stop acting like he'd be doing you this big favor by falling in love with you.
  4. OK, listen because this is important: You are going to have to stop hiding your feelings or he is never going to be able to figure you out. I know you live in mortal fear of being rejected, but it is not the worst thing that could happen. The worst thing would be for the two of you to actually have feelings for each other, but then have nothing happen because you are so impossible to read. I know you think he must know, he has to know, he's always known, but I know how you can be with him. You want so badly for him not to know because you don't want it to be awkward, and you don't want him to be able to reject you and leave you, so you hide everything. And you, my dear, are an excellent actress. Everything's a joke. Nothing is serious. You have to knock it off.
  5. I saw you with Chris - you were WAY more flirtatious than you are with Seth. That's normal because you're used to hiding your feelings around Seth, but you are going to have to figure out how to take the wall back down and show him the actual tender hearted little self you have in there.
  6. Calm down. I just thought I'd throw this one in there again. CALM DOWN. Go get a massage or something. Better yet, come watch my kids. They'll wear you down, trust me.

I think she may have a point. Six actually.

Freak. When is it Sunday again?