Hey guys... Just an fyi, my blog makes a lot more sense if you start reading it from the beginning.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Never get on googlechat at work when you are depressed and mad and tired

S: Why didn't you call me back last night
C: I was busy
S: With your super top secret plans
C: Just busy
S: I need to talk to you
C: Maybe next month
S: Are you avoiding me?
C: No, I'm just very busy right now
S: Be serious
C: I am being serious
S: Are you mad?
C: No
C: but I'm unavailable
C: occupied with other things
C: penciled out for the next fourteen days or so
S: What are you talking about?
C: Nothing. My social life is getting really hectic that's all
C: I might be able to squeeze you in in November
C: I'll let you know
S: Stop messing around
C: I'm not
S: Then you're mad at me
C: why would I be mad
S: we need to talk
C: how unfortunate
C: maybe we can talk some other time
C: sometime when I'm not so busy
C: maybe two weeks from Friday
C: I'll let you know

And then I signed out.

So I guess he wants to talk. Unfortunately, now that he wants to talk, I'm totally afraid to talk to him. I don't want to know what he has to say. I've decided I'd rather be in limbo forever. Because I can guess what he is going to say. Something along the lines of: I'm sorry about what happened, I don't know why it happened other than you were there and I was bored and missing my girlfriend. I'd rather not hear it.

I went to lunch with a bunch of people from work and this marketing rep that comes by our office a couple of times a month was there. He wants to take me to dinner on Friday. He's cute and mildly interesting so I said yes. Its not like I have anything better to do, other than avoid Seth.

It makes me mad that dating is so much easier now. I know that's stupid, but it's true. It makes me kind of contemptuous of the guys who suddenly think I'm interesting. I get all bitter on behalf of the chubbier version of myself. I can't imagine what it's like for girls who are actually really fit and pretty. They must have scorn for everyone.