Hey guys... Just an fyi, my blog makes a lot more sense if you start reading it from the beginning.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Seth's Mom

When I drop by the party Seth's outside playing football with his brothers. His mom and I talk in the formal living room, where I give her a present, which she opens and effusively loves, more out of fondness for me than any real interest in the gift. We talk about my hair for a minute (she likes it) and work for a while, then she surprises me.

“How are you handling all this?”

“All what?”

She gives me the look, the mom look. “Seth and Teresa.”

GAH. We don’t talk about this stuff, ever. I know she knows, because she’s a woman and she’s not blind, but we don’t actually say it out loud. I stutter my way through some gibberish about how I’m glad he’s happy, and if he’s happy I’m happy, and Teresa seems nice enough, and she watches me with skeptical eyes.

“Cordy. Honey, come on.”

“What?!”

She puts her hand on my shoulder. “I know you think you can’t tell him, but I think you can. I think you should.

I feel a little frozen and I'm freaking out a little. I CANNOT go there with her. What if she decides to tell Seth what we talked about? Crap, what if she tells him what she just said to me? What if she tells him what she’s guessed? What if she’s already told him what she’s guessed? Frack.

I concentrate on my fingers and start rambling on about how I’m not really sure what she means, Seth is my best friend, and we’re just such good friends, friends-friends-friends, and –

She interrupts me. "I think Seth cares more than he realizes he cares. He's just a little dense. Sometimes men need a good hard shove in the right direction. Do you know what I mean?"

I blink at her. Huh? As if – as if he’d care what I feel, other than in a pitying awkward way. As if I had any power over Seth at all. She clearly doesn't get it - her son's total lack of any romantic interest in me. Her affection for me is skewing her read on the situation.

Why is she saying this stuff to me anyway, instead of to her son? Oh, right. Because Seth would be so mad if he knew she was meddling in his love life. Defcon 5 level mad.

Not that I want her saying any of this to Seth. GAH.

“Kay – I – I don’t know what you think you know, but –“

“I think if you don’t say something soon, this thing with Teresa might get a lot more serious than it really needs to be.”

I have no idea what to say. My eyes are probably THIS BIG right now, and my face is warm. Not only am I having a hard time dealing with the fact that we’re talking about this, but Seth could walk in here at any second.

“I’m seeing someone,” I blurt out, which isn’t exactly true, but I feel cornered and I really need to make her stop talking.

She opens her mouth, then closes it again. “Oh.”

I look at my watch. It’s 9:30. “Actually, I’m late. I need to go.”

“You’re going out now?”

I try to smile at her. “You know how it is when you first start seeing someone. You wanna get together whenever you can.” I give her a quick hug. “Tell Seth I said hi, o.k.?”

I escape. I’m shaking.

Please Lord, do NOT let her have a similar conversation with Seth.

Please.